It's been a difficult week. Kyle's in London for two weeks, and while it's hard for me because I miss him, it's particularly hard for the tiny human running around the house. She looked at me earlier in the week, grabbed me by the cheeks and said "Mama?" "Where Dada?" It was like she has been trying to figure out how to ask this all week, and finally found her words. What's worse, is that instead of being consumed with the normal pride I feel when she learns a new word or phrase, I wanted to cry.
Instead, I made her an ice cream sundae. I know. Shoot me. I fed my kid one scoop of vanilla ice cream topped with homemade oatmeal crumble and cinnamon sprinkled on top. But what else was I supposed to do?
I think people that don't have kids really don't understand how difficult it is to parent alone. They don't realize that it's exhausting to always be emotionally and physically "on"- which would be why so many people that Ky and I know that don't have kids or never had a traveling parent, think it's so cool that he's traveling so much lately. They also don't think about the fact that there's a little person who loves their Dad and depends on his being there. They just think about the glamour, which in reality isn't so glamourous.
I'm starting to realize that there are some dividing lines among friends that are single and married. Single people get sick of being asked when they're going to get married and have children and "grow up". Maybe they don't want to get married. Maybe they already feel like they're grown up. Or maybe they do want to get married, but the idea of children seems like the black plague to them.
Married people get sick of being asked when they're going to have kids, or if they already have one, when they're going to have one more, two more, five more. Maybe they don't want children, or they only want one. Maybe they need to wait to have another baby. Maybe all of these decisions, wait for it, are private decisions that people need to stop asking about.
At the end of the day, a lot of these issues are no one's business. You never know what it's like to walk in someone else's head, or marriage, or life- sometimes even when you try. Learning this through my friendships and relationships has really helped me with parenting...it's given me the ability to admit that sometimes I just don't know what to do. When Laela misses her Daddy, I just don't know what to do. So I keep her on schedule, I take her on toddler adventures to museums and playgrounds, and we paint, sing, laugh and play. I do my best to make her realize that Momma's not going anywhere, and that when Dada's gone it means fun, not just missing Dada.
Dada is not going to stop traveling anytime soon, so if it means my kid has a few sundaes here and there, well, I guess that's how it's going to be.
So make yourself a sundae. And if you're feeling crunchy, try this yummo oatmeal crunch to top your yogurt, ice cream, or fruit.
Oatmeal Crumble
For this recipe you're just going to eye it up.
Put some brown sugar (a tablespoon or two), a few good shakes of cinnamon, a big handful of oatmeal, and a tablespoon or two of butter and mix together. when it all sticks together well, put it in the oven at 350-degrees, cook it for ten minutes, or until golden brown.
You can store any leftover in an air tight container for about a week and a half.
*If you're a nut lover, feel free to add some chopped/crushed/or halved nuts to the crumble before you bake!
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