Hold That Baby

For the last year, rather than blog about my food and parenting adventures, I've been practicing being in the moment.  I've had moments where I did this SO well.  And then I had those moments when I decided that rocking the baby while reading the Kindle was totally what I needed.  Then, I'd hate myself for reading while nursing my baby, rather than gazing at her sweet face.  Ah, parenting, you cruel mistress, haunting me with the fact that my babies will NOT. STOP. GROWING. UP.


Us mamas and daddies do not get a pause or rewind button, we are ever in the moment, cooing, laughing, cuddling, loving, getting barfed on, getting nagged for second breakfast/lunch/dinner/MORE SNACKS (you would seriously think that I do not feed these children.)etc.   So, because of this beautiful thing called parenting, this thing that I would not trade for one moment, I am wracked with excruciating guilt for the times when I am not totally present, like when I am exhausted from subsidized single parenting for 5 weeks or months straight, and just need a moment.  I hate myself for those moments.  Truly.


That said, I do my best.  I adore my family.  And I am grateful that the advice of a dear friend stuck with me for the past year- "Hold that baby.  You will not get the time back."  Sweet Charlotte will never get to say that she was not held, loved on, cuddled, or given attention.  She has gotten it in spades.


In some ways, I've mellowed a lot about food over the last year.  In others, I've become an obsessive maniac.  For instance, we now have boxed organic mac n cheese in the house, and organic hot dogs, just in case I'm just too tired to do anything other than boil water.  One child me would have been way disappointed in me, but I've learned that sometimes, stuff happens.  Big kids have activities, and at the end of the day, they'd rather have that extra 40 minutes with you to cuddle them and read stories.


Now the flipside of the coin, the obsessive maniac gives poor Kyle a look that could melt ice when he accidentally bought REGULAR milk for the baby the other day.  The poor guy had to go back to Costco to get the REAL milk.  Yes, I realized after he got home that I probably needed an intervention.  BUT IT'S MY BABY PEOPLE.  I just can't.


The point is, I'm striving to find balance in a very extreme world.  It seems like all around us, we're being told that we have to be able to spend a million hours a week crafting/cooking/sewing/cleaning, and frankly, I just don't know how!  Yes, I am admittedly a perfectionist, but there has to be a line.  Do we want our kids to walk into a work function as adults, and bring their own snacks?  Because, where I come from, that's disrespectful and rude. 


We need to teach our children about healthy habits, healthy portions, and to eat healthy, REAL, food, but we also need to teach them balance.  They need to learn how to eat reasonably well at a function full of unhealthy food, and that the world isn't going to end if they go to Five Guys now and then.  The key is now and then.


Your question now probably is, what the heck does this have to do with a food blog?  Everything.  Family is everything.  Family meals, family eating habits.  Your children are watching you.  They see how you eat, what you don't eat, what you sneak, what you throw away.  They see how you do or don't spend time on dinner.  This isn't a judgment, it's just a fundamental truth.  So what I'm trying to do, what I was trying to do for the first few years of this blog, is making it EASIER.  I didn't know what I didn't know about feeding more than 3 people for more than a holiday.  And honey, sometimes it's hard! 


So here we go.  Back in action.  Healthy, family friendly meals that don't make you nuts.  And if you need to head on over to your local burger joint, because you JUST CAN'T TODAY, I hear ya.  Do what ya need to do.

Four Months to Go.

We're moving in exactly four months today.  I've been going crazy making spreadsheets of everything from what areas we should look at to move (because nope, we still haven't found an apartment), to activies for Laela, to what we do and don't need to bring (because making a spreadsheet of stuff is a lot less headache than packing it for some reason.)  I've slowly started packing away the "extra stuff" in our life- Laela's infant stuff that I can't bring myself to get rid of, and have convinced myself I'll get a quilt made, books that we've both accumulated over the last twenty years or so, doubles of games (Ky, do we really need two of every Trivial Pursuit Game?  I'm just sayin'), and most of our winter clothes (since the climates we're moving to are going to be considerably warmer than here). 

To be completely honest, I didn't realize we had this much stuff.  I'm not usually the most sentimental person in the world (I lost my yearbooks and a lot of photos during the courses of my nine or so moves over the last few years and didn't really care too much), but when I found my box of things from Kyle- cards, notes, post its, pressed flowers, etc., I put it in the "move with me bin", because a Momma needs those things to look back on now and then. 

It's amazing how much one person can change our life, and how we react to life.  Kyle's probably the only person in my life that can keep me so grounded, that gets me so well, and can make me so ridiculously happy, even when things seem like they aren't so great.  Like not knowing where we're going to live and feeling like nothing is done, he still manages to be the calm in my storm.  I think the funniest thing is that he saves everything.  Seriously.  Everything.  I have a box of beer bottles in our basement- one of every one he's tried.  I think it's weird.  But then again, I don't even have a yearbook, and until I met Kyle, no real desire to hold on to the stuff, or the memories of the stuff, so I guess I'll have to respect his desire to save everything...so long as he doesn't turn in to a horder.

As I'm writing this, I'm realizing that I may not have pictures or momentos of every time in my life, but I do have this- the memory of making my best friend Xana chocolate chip cookies when she found out she was pregnant for the first time, and all of the cakes I've made her since.  I've got a chocolate peanut butter cake for my Daddy and Kyle for Father's Day that they loved.  German chocolate for my Mom.  Lemon squares at barbecues.  My great-grandmother's cream cheese icing that I loved as a girl.  My gram's ginger cookie recipe that got me through pregnancy nausea.  Anniversary chicken from the first time I made Ky dinner.  Learning to make spaghetti and meatballs from my Dad, that I now make for my litte girl.  Kyle's grilled cheese.  Spanakopita as early as I can remember from South Street Soulvaki, and then trying to make it with my birth mom when I was a kid during a snow storm.  Corinne's chicken enchiladas that she made us when we had Laela.  Mom's banana bread.  Mom's disasterous "fat-free" scones. 

All of these things are stories, memories, recipes that I share with you and my family.  Proof that you can have all the pictures in the world, but the stories behind them- the smells behind them, they stay with you more than anything.  When you're old and your sight goes, what will you remember?  For some I'm sure it'll be the smell of chocolate chip cookie dough and the taste and feel of licking it off the spoon.  For my husband, I'm pretty sure he'll get old smelling his favorite- Easter ham.

Appreciate today.  Appreciate family dinner.  Those memories can't get lost in a move.  Neither can the recipes.

Sometimes a Picnic is More Than a Picnic

Yesterday was a great day.  My husband took the day off to hang out with me and Laela.  Kyle let me sleep until 9:00AM (hooray!!!), we had a nice family breakfast, played with my parents' dog Memphis, and finally had a picnic at the park since it was such a gorgeous day.

Growing up, my brother and I didn't have a whole lot.  My Dad was raising us on his own, and he had to work multiple jobs to keep us afloat, so when he wasn't working (or dead tired from working three shifts in a  row), he would take us out to play.  Let me tell you, I was one wild monkey of a little kid.  I loved to climb trees and invent games with the neighborhood kids.  We'd play "stuck in the mud" and "spaceship" (I was always captain of the ship!), and we'd build amazing forts.  All of that playtime with my friends was awesome, but nothing was better than hanging out with my Dad.  We'd throw the football around in the park, search for rocks and stones, play on the playground, and pig out on hoagies and Tastycakes..it's not necessarily what we were doing, it was just that those were the times when everything really felt like a family.  Not missing something because I didn't have a Mom, and not weird because my Dad was the one taking me to Girl Scouts.  I don't ever remember feeling sorry for myself because she wasn't there, because my Dad was always enough.

I don't think parents realize the impact of little things like going to the park will have on their children.  It's these little moments that help them form who they are.  The moments that help them learn to trust and feel safe.  I watched my daughter run down a hill for the first time yesterday.  My baby ran!  And when she started to stumble she reached up and said "Mama!"  As I grabbed her hand, I couldn't help but think that this is everything I've ever wanted.  I have the most wonderful life.  Our baby girl knows Mommy and Daddy are always there.  We're doing it right.  And that's all that matters.

Even if you don't have kids, remember that it's the little things in all of your relationships that  matter.  I feel like everyone's always forgetting the "relate" part of the word "relationship".  Get on the people in your life's level, whether they are children or people that are older than you.  The understanding you'll find may surprise you.  And remember, food is a universal language..so if you have nothing to say to one another, try a new food experience and see where the conversation takes you.

I know this was a little bit off-topic for the blog, but yesterday was just such an amazing family day that I wanted to share it, you know?  And I'll be back with your regularly scheduled delicious recipes and food tips next week, so don't worry!  Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend with their family!!

Shake me all life long!

This past Saturday, our good friends Lizy and Wyatt got married.  The entire shabang was completely beautiful (can you really go wrong with a wedding in the Finger Lakes?  I think not.), but what really got me was just how much they love each other.  They've been together a long time, they understand and accept one another for who they are, and they have so so much fun together.  They're one of those couples that are just lovely to be around because they are exactly as a couple should be- two wonderful individuals that create a really fantastic union.

Their wedding was the first time we ever left Laela, and honestly, it was the first time in a long time that I really got the chance to remember some of the silly things that made me fall in love with my husband.  Sometimes, living life is busy, and through going through the motions, we don't get a chance to express ourselves the way we'd like.  When it was just us, the love letters were longer, the dates more elaborate.  But now, we have to cram a lot of love into a smaller amount of time, so it was nice to "escape" for a little while and get to just be for a moment.

When I met Kyle, he told me he was going to marry me or kill me.  I figured I'd dated enough psychos to be able to tell if he was a total nutjob, so I gave him a chance to be right, and you know what?  It's the best decision I ever made.

The first time we ever danced was to the song "You Shook Me All Night Long" long by ACDC.  It may not sound romantic to you, but he told me he was going to shake me all life long, and I have to say he has.  If you know my husband, he is one exasperating individual.  He's as stubborn as he is generous.  He's the most loving person on the planet.  And while you may not like what he has to say, it's never a lie.

I shared some of this with a friend after the wedding.  I told him how much I love my husband, how I think he's the greatest guy in my world, how he can make me laugh on the worst of days, and I realized in that moment that romance is what you make it.  Love is what you make it.  Love is not just hot lovin' (although I do think that's very important), it's about friendship and being able to be yourself- whether it's the very best version or the very worst, and being accepted and genuinely loved as that person.  With the exception of asking Kyle not to be evil in church, or to put the seat down, I really don't want him to change.  I married him for who he is, not my idea of who he should be, and I really think that (and hope that), Laela grows up knowing that her parents love and accept one another, and that we'll love and accept her- even when we disagree with her,  or with one another.

I know this post is a bit off tangent with my other posts, but all these weddings have me all mushed out, and I can't help but give this one piece of advice.  Be happy.  I have single friends that feel like they have to be on the hunt to be married, and you know what?  Hunting doesn't always work.  Sometimes finding the right person takes a lot of meeting the wrong people.  And for those that are married?  Happy Mommies and Daddies make for happy kids : )

Tune in Weds for my simple "Anniversary Chicken" that even the pickiest of eaters will love.