Four Months to Go.

We're moving in exactly four months today.  I've been going crazy making spreadsheets of everything from what areas we should look at to move (because nope, we still haven't found an apartment), to activies for Laela, to what we do and don't need to bring (because making a spreadsheet of stuff is a lot less headache than packing it for some reason.)  I've slowly started packing away the "extra stuff" in our life- Laela's infant stuff that I can't bring myself to get rid of, and have convinced myself I'll get a quilt made, books that we've both accumulated over the last twenty years or so, doubles of games (Ky, do we really need two of every Trivial Pursuit Game?  I'm just sayin'), and most of our winter clothes (since the climates we're moving to are going to be considerably warmer than here). 

To be completely honest, I didn't realize we had this much stuff.  I'm not usually the most sentimental person in the world (I lost my yearbooks and a lot of photos during the courses of my nine or so moves over the last few years and didn't really care too much), but when I found my box of things from Kyle- cards, notes, post its, pressed flowers, etc., I put it in the "move with me bin", because a Momma needs those things to look back on now and then. 

It's amazing how much one person can change our life, and how we react to life.  Kyle's probably the only person in my life that can keep me so grounded, that gets me so well, and can make me so ridiculously happy, even when things seem like they aren't so great.  Like not knowing where we're going to live and feeling like nothing is done, he still manages to be the calm in my storm.  I think the funniest thing is that he saves everything.  Seriously.  Everything.  I have a box of beer bottles in our basement- one of every one he's tried.  I think it's weird.  But then again, I don't even have a yearbook, and until I met Kyle, no real desire to hold on to the stuff, or the memories of the stuff, so I guess I'll have to respect his desire to save everything...so long as he doesn't turn in to a horder.

As I'm writing this, I'm realizing that I may not have pictures or momentos of every time in my life, but I do have this- the memory of making my best friend Xana chocolate chip cookies when she found out she was pregnant for the first time, and all of the cakes I've made her since.  I've got a chocolate peanut butter cake for my Daddy and Kyle for Father's Day that they loved.  German chocolate for my Mom.  Lemon squares at barbecues.  My great-grandmother's cream cheese icing that I loved as a girl.  My gram's ginger cookie recipe that got me through pregnancy nausea.  Anniversary chicken from the first time I made Ky dinner.  Learning to make spaghetti and meatballs from my Dad, that I now make for my litte girl.  Kyle's grilled cheese.  Spanakopita as early as I can remember from South Street Soulvaki, and then trying to make it with my birth mom when I was a kid during a snow storm.  Corinne's chicken enchiladas that she made us when we had Laela.  Mom's banana bread.  Mom's disasterous "fat-free" scones. 

All of these things are stories, memories, recipes that I share with you and my family.  Proof that you can have all the pictures in the world, but the stories behind them- the smells behind them, they stay with you more than anything.  When you're old and your sight goes, what will you remember?  For some I'm sure it'll be the smell of chocolate chip cookie dough and the taste and feel of licking it off the spoon.  For my husband, I'm pretty sure he'll get old smelling his favorite- Easter ham.

Appreciate today.  Appreciate family dinner.  Those memories can't get lost in a move.  Neither can the recipes.