Cha Cha Cha Changes!

It's funny how at nine months old, children understand the word no, but much like when they're sixteen, they keep doing what they're doing to test their parents for a reaction.  As I type this, Laela is trying her hardest to rip open the entertainment center doors, which even though they've been "baby proofed", she can still open if she pulls just hard enough.  She knows I'll say "No Laela.  Stop."  She turns around, stops for a second to smile at me and plop herself on her butt, just to pull herself back up and rip open the doors again.  She's learning so fast- our reactions, cause and effect (ie.."if I throw my food on the ground, the cat eats it, or I don't get it back."  "If I dump out my sippy cup, I can splash and play in the water."), and how to express what she wants (she's pointing to things now!  Ahhh!!)

A few months ago, my husband asked me how I'd feel about moving for a few years for work.  My initial reaction was very reasonable.  It's not forever, I like to travel and meet new people, and I want Kyle to be as successful in his job as he can be.

Then, the Thursday before Memorial Day weekend, he told me he was offered a really exclusive promotion at his company, that only 17 people in his division were offered, and that we would have to move for 2-5 years.  At least two moves in the States, and one move to Europe  Again, I reacted with pride and excitement for him.  He's incredibly brilliant, and I can't even express how thrilled I am for him that he's got this amazing opportunity to achieve more than he'd ever really even considered in his career.

The difficult part, the part that makes me scream in my head "No!  I can't do this!" is facing what this means for not just our family, but for me.  It's taken me some time to really realize and then accept that this is going to mean no more support system, no Friday nights at Grandpa and Neesa's, no meeting up with any of my awesome friends when I'm having a bad day, or just need the company of someone that can speak in full sentences, instead of points, grunts and giggles. 

Frankly, I wrote this post last week, and I've been blocked ever since.  I'm a stubborn person.  I didn't even want to acknowledge that I had a support system, let alone that I needed one, until a few months ago.  When Laela was born, I didn't ask for any help.  I was cooking dinner by the time she was a week and a half old.  Kyle had packed lunches.  The house was clean.  Our laundry was done.  I was this crazy person taking on the world, and somehow I succeeded at it- with a baby on my hip.  I think that I derived some of my strength from the fact that even though I wasn't asking for help, it was there if I needed it.  I'm not saying that everything was totally "normal".  I was a sleep deprived zombie for a while, but hey, things were done!

After meditating on all of these changes (which I have to say is incredibly difficult since we don't know when or where we're moving to yet), I realized that my support system is still my support system no matter where I live.  Is it going to be easy?  No.  But that's what planes and Skype are for.  Instead of looking at this experience as a big upheaval of my life, I'm going to use it as an opportunity to take some cooking classes in different parts of the country- maybe even the world.  And then we'll just see what comes next.
 
"Growth means change and change involves risk, stepping from the known to the unknown."

I'll keep you posted on where this ride is taking us.   See ya Weds for a simple, comforting Mac-n-Cheese recipe.